The Practice of Practicing
Even practicing takes practice.
When I started writing “Practicing Life,” I made the commitment to myself that I would publish essays on a weekly basis. Then last week happened. Between work and personal commitments, my routine publishing day of Sunday fast approached and I had nothing written. I told myself that maybe I could complete something quickly on Sunday and still meet my deadline. But I also knew that doing so would mean what I published would be rushed and forced. It would have meant publishing something more for the sake of publishing something to say that I did it, instead of publishing the type of content that I owe to myself and to you readers.
And so last Sunday came and went without a published essay. At first, I was pretty hard on myself for not sticking with my self-imposed publishing schedule. I had the mindset that I’d not met my own goals and, thus, failed. And that led to me feeling defeated. But as the days of this last week passed by, I was able to shift my internal dialogue from one of defeat to one of learning. From one of defeat to one of practice.
For me, this journal is, in and of itself, a practice. It is a practice in which I am crafting my writing skills, and one in which I am able to share lessons and principles that, while sharing with you, I hope to personally internalize and use as guidance as I show up for day-to-day life.
Additionally, this journal is also a practice in reminding me about how to see life as a practice. I don’t think I’m alone when I say it is very easy for me to catch myself reverting from a “practice” mindset to one in which I see things in a black or white, good or bad, success or fail perspective. I was good at my job or I wasn’t. I was good at being a dad or spouse today, or I wasn’t. I succeeded in finishing my “to do” list or I failed.
In other words, I find myself being caught in the “good enough” mindset. If I attained my goal, then I was good enough. But if I didn’t, then I didn't succeed, which must mean I failed. And a feeling of failure can lead to feeling defeated.
That perspective is the complete antithesis of the practice mindset. Practice is not a zero sum equation in which not succeeding or not accomplishing our goal equals complete failure or defeat. Rather, life is a process of learning and development. Of adopting a growth mindset that allows us to see things, especially obstacles, challenges, and coming up short, as building blocks to help us improve, learn, develop and grow.
Practice is about setting aside that part of our ego that wants us to always be seen in the best, most perfect light possible, and instead, acknowledge that life can be messy. It can trip us up, it will not always go how we want, and we will make mistakes. And all of that is okay because all of that helps us learn how to improve.
Failing at something does not have be the end of one’s efforts. It does not have to equal defeat. With the correct mindset, it can be the fertilizer for our resilience and adaptability. It teaches us how to pivot. How to adjust. How to take the information from things we’ve both done well and those we’ve done not so well, and recalibrate and refocus our efforts. How we have a choice not to surrender to hardship or difficulty when things don’t go the way we hoped or wanted, and instead, use those situations as a basis for doubling down on our efforts of self-growth and development. We pick ourselves up, we start fresh and we keep trying. We keep practicing.
And as I learn time and time again: having this outlook takes practice. For me, seeing life as a practice is a practice all on its own. Keeping this perspective and reminding myself that not succeeding is not the same as being defeated is something that takes practice. I just have to keep at it.
And so, I’m back on track with this essay. I’m continuing my practice of writing and continuing my practice of seeing life as a practice. Will I come up short in the future? In all likelihood, yes. But that just means I will have more opportunities to learn, improve and build my skills. As a writer and as a person. It just means that I will have more opportunities to practice. And I really can’t ask for much more than that.
Be well.