This past week, America celebrated its 248th birthday. Independence Day, July 4th, is the recognition and celebration of when a relatively small group of individuals joined together with a singular vision of freedom from governmental tyranny and control and stood up against one of the most dominant militaries and world powers and said, “No more. We want to control our destiny.” And from that, a new country was born.
There are principles that we can take from this significant historical event and apply to how we live everyday. For this reason, I think there can be a more personal level and depth to this holiday and what it represents. I think that a holiday celebrating independence, regardless of whether it is America’s or some other country’s Independence Day, can be used by each of us to recommit ourselves to the fundamental principles of freedom and independence in our own, everyday lives.
One of the Oxford Dictionary’s definitions of “freedom” is “the power or right to act, speak, or think as one wants without hindrance or restraint.” Another definition is “the state of not being imprisoned or enslaved.” Let’s see how we can apply these to our daily lives.
One of the more obvious ways is to say that we are not going to be controlled by other people. We aren’t going to let other people control or dictate how to behave or act. While there is nothing wrong with this concept, it is not a principle that has the most consistently workable application in all circumstances.
For example, many times, laws and social norms restrict or confine the ways we’re supposed to act. Additionally, we may need to do what is asked of us at work by our supervisors or clients. Or maybe we have familial obligations that require us to do one thing while we’d rather be doing something else. In all of these situations, it might be said that we are not acting completely as we want without hindrance or restraint. But that’s okay. Because at the same time, we may be willing to choose to forgo what we personally want to do in that moment in exchange for doing something for someone else or something that needs to be done in a certain way.
The reality is that our relationships, whether they be business or personal, require an ebb and flow or give and take of freedom based on what we relinquish or take from another person so that we may coexist together in our interconnected rolls with each other. And there is nothing wrong with that so long as someone isn’t taking advantage of, or harming, another person.
While these are perhaps the more obvious ways that the concept of freedom might play into our everyday lives, there are also more subtle, nuanced ways that are equally, or even more, important and powerful. And that is the concept of personal autonomy.
“Autonomy” is very similar to “freedom.” But in the context of one’s own self, it relates to acting free from the influence of our wants and desires. Put another way, autonomy is a type of personal freedom that means doing our best to prevent being controlled and influenced by those personal habits that prevent us from being better versions of ourselves and restrict us from reaching our true potential.
To challenge and remove these self-imposed limitations, we need to perform some self-reflection and conduct an inventory. We need to ask ourselves what level of personal autonomy are we willing to sacrifice and surrender to our robotic, habitual actions. This requires us to engage in a conscious awareness of when, how, and to whom we relinquish control of our personal autonomy and how much of that autonomy we are truly willing to relinquish.
The ways we surrender our personal freedom throughout each day are numerous. And they are sinister in how sneaky and nuanced they are. For example, so many of us feel that we don’t have enough time in a day to accomplish what it is we want to do. But yet, we might spend combined hours mindlessly surfing the internet, on social media or watching TV. Or maybe we want to lose weight or commit to a healthier lifestyle, and yet, we are bored and we mindlessly grab a handful of chips or cookies. Or when we go out to eat, instead of choosing the healthier menu item, we choose the one that we think we might enjoy more. In fact, I just did this last night.
We do these things for no other reason than these are actions we are just accustomed to doing because they require little-to-no conscious thought or awareness while triggering our dopamine or “feel good” receptors in our brain. We mindlessly look for the thing that will give us the immediate gratification instead of consciously making the choice that will improve our overall well-being.
So how do we work with this and change? How do we switch out of these habitual patterns that might be holding us back and stopping us from achieving our goals or true potential?
As I’ve suggested, it starts with being more conscious of our actions and decision making process. It requires a level of self-awareness instead of robotic, mindless activity.
Then it requires discipline. The motto of inspirational leadership and self-help influencer and role model Jocko Willink is “discipline equals freedom.” Meaning freedom is having the discipline or self-control to consciously make choices that advance our self-improvement instead of being mindlessly controlled by our habitual, self-limiting tendencies. And we do this even if those choices are harder or deprive us of what might provide us that sense of immediate gratification.
So practicing to assess and then make those conscious choices that support our long term goals, well-being and improvement is one way to assert our personal freedom.
A second way of protecting and enforcing our every day personal freedom is shifting our mindset from one of a “victim mentality” to one of self-empowerment and accountability. The unfortunate reality is that many of us go through our days feeling like we don’t have control over our own lives. Maybe we’re worried about climate change or the upcoming election and how these will impact us. Or maybe we feel that we are in a dead-end job that provides little satisfaction or time for us to pursue what we really want to do. Or maybe we don’t like what so-and-so said or how they treated us. Things can feel overwhelming and beyond our control. We feel like the victim of circumstance. It is often those “victim” feelings of being overwhelmed and having no control that often leads us to want to check out mentally or emotionally, thereby causing us to fall into our mindless and habitual actions that don’t align with our long terms goals for self-improvement.
However, actually, there is a lot we can control. First, we can control trying not to feel so overwhelmed by those things we cannot control. Yes, climate change and governmental leadership are big issues. But few of us are in any position to have a direct influence on those issues outside of what we actions we can take on a day-to-day basis. And those actions include doing what we can, through conscious awareness and decision making, to advance our self-interests. Concerned about the environment? Recycle or use glass instead of plastic. Worried about our government and leadership? Maybe get involved in your own community or town’s government or volunteer to assist one of your local services that needs additional support.
Everything starts with us. Meaning, all change starts with us. Right here, right now. And once we start to change, perhaps we can begin to influence others around us to change as well. And then maybe they influence more people around them. The circle of influence grows and grows. And that is how we affect the change we want. That is how we can do our part to take control and no longer be the victim. That is how we exercise our freedom. That is how the forefathers of America started a movement that created a new nation.
As for those backstabbing or rude people, prove them wrong. Actions take priority over words. Show them you are not to be controlled by their negative conduct, rumors, gossip or lies. Exercise your will and freedom to be who you are, which is not a person to be taken lightly or for granted.
And as for the dead-end job? Well, first, acknowledge to yourself that it provides you (and maybe your family) with income that you cannot otherwise live without. Maybe it provides you with much needed health insurance. So acknowledge to yourself that the “dead-end” job, might actually serve to benefit you in some way.
Then, if you still are not happy, you need to see yourself as having the power and ability to make a change. Maybe it means you switch professions. Maybe it means you consider going back to school to earn a degree that will allow you to try something new. Maybe the job not being enjoyable is the push you need to take more control of your career and do something you really want to do. Maybe it is the impetus you need to exercise your personal freedom.
Are there risks involved? Absolutely. Will it be easy? Probably not. Will you trip and fall and make mistakes and have doubts that you made the right choice. Of course. But that, after all is what practice is about. And giving yourself the space and permission to recognize and acknowledge that at least you’re taking the steps to change what it is you can control. You have shifted your mindset from that of a victim. You see and recognize your own power and self-worth. And you are taking control. You are exercising your freedom to become the version of yourself that you want to be.
There is a favorite poem of mine called “Invictus.” It was written by William Ernest Henley in 1875. “Invictus” in Latin means “unconquerable” or “undefeated.” The poem reads:
Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate: I am the captain of my soul.
My Independence Day wish is that all of us recognize our power to be who it is we want to be. Seizing our power and exercising our personal autonomy choice by choice, action by action. It all starts inside of us. How we see ourselves and what power we give ourselves to influence our own choices and actions. And in turn, we set an example for what it is like to be free from the influence of our habitual wants and needs. We prove that personal autonomy, while hard work, is not only possible, it is completely worth it.
That is the practice of freedom.
Be well.